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Even now as I’m writing this blog, I’m crying. It’s weird how feelings like this can manifest from a person that seems happy during the day. But, when nightfalls, a whole new person comes out.

Why do I let these emotions control me?

Why don’t I talk about how I’m feelings to those around me?

Because I’m scared.

Scared to accept the fact I’m not happy with myself as a person right now.

That is why I suffer in silence. I have anxiety and panic attacks mostly when night falls. There are times where I’m in the bathroom crying, and I don’t even know why I cry but I just do it. Crying makes me feel a little better. My sleep schedule has been so horrible lately, not even taking sleeping aids help.

If only there was a way to take these feelings away from me for good. I hate making those around me worried.

Writing is once again my only escape from this haunting feeling in my chest. I would never wish this type of feelings to my worst enemy.

This stuff happening constantly is just so draining to my body, and with everything happening still in the world, being home all the time doesn’t help how I feel at all.

I know I need to stop being so scared. It’s just easier said than done.

~Marisa Rae