Some Changes…

Hello everyone,

I’m so sorry I haven’t been posting many blogs lately. I am slowly getting more ideas on what to write about, and how to strengthen my writing skills for my lovely viewers. Which by the way thank you for everyone who likes my posts, and leave a comment, please give my blog a follow I love to get new followers on my blog.

So what has been a huge struggle for me? Money. Yes, everyone loves money. We all need money to survive, and get things we need. I do still have a job, don’t worry guys I’m not jobless. A little about my job is that I work on my school campus, and when we closed for winter break which was about for 3 weeks I wasn’t working at all those 3 weeks therefore I wasn’t getting paid at all. It couldn’t have been helped because of the fact my work was closed for vacation, and yes I did enjoy my vacation despite having to be tight on money because around this time also I hadn’t gotten any Christmas gifts yet. For everyone who knows my struggle, I am right there next to you dealing with the same issues.

Now with the new school semester starting now, I’m back at work and I admit to myself I actually did miss working while I was on vacation. I’m back on track with my job, and money isn’t the issue anymore. But, while I was dealing with that issue it made me start to appreciate the things in life that I’ve always had but never had truly taken it into realization. For example, when I was low on money my mom would send me money to put into my account and it was just enough to last me until after the new year. I didn’t ask her to do that, but she did it because I’m her daughter and she didn’t want to see me struggle like that. It’s a thing that only a mother can understand, and it’s also a mother’s love to their child.

No matter how much another person may be struggling, they will always be there for others who need help as well. We all have struggles, and I admit I’m a typical broke college student that’s going to school to one day become a Pediatric Nurse. I know well I’ll have more struggles like this one day, I know I’m going to cry my eyes out at times, and lastly I know despite all of that my mom will still be there helping me as much as she can.

Don’t take family for granted. Always be there for each other.

Living Your Life

Has there ever been a time in your life, that you felt like you just HAD to live your life the way others wanted? I’m sure all of us can relate to that.

As you age, you mature, and during those years you also gain knowledge about life from those around you or from personal experiences. Only you can live your life how you want it, many may feel pressured to live their lives how others want them to, and are afraid of what may happen if they go against those orders. But, we fail to realize that we wouldn’t be happy with our lives if we don’t live them the way we want to. We’ll only be existing but not actually living.

Those who want you to live life a certain way will be upset if you start to live it how you want to, and eventually they will get over that feeling. Despite how they may act towards you, they will always love you, and only want what is best for you. You’ll be success in some shape or form, maybe not in there way, but in your way you will be successful, and be happy with how life is going for you.

Keep that feeling of happiness close to you. Never compare someone else’s success to yours, everyone is successful in their own way. Don’t rush things. Take your time. One step at a time. You got this, one day you will be looking back to these days as an easy patch in your life, and be thankful for everything you went through, because in the end it gave you nothing but blessings.

~Marisa

Giving yourself time…

When a person is going through a tough time in their lives, they have a lot to re discover about themselves, and learn how to cope with those feelings they have inside. It has never been easy to do, people want changes in themselves to happen now instead of taking a long period of time. But, it takes time to heal a physical wound, and it might take just as long to heal yourself.

Time is key. Over that time period, you as a person don’t have to wait around for changes to happen. You can start making those changes now. Making yourself better is a great thing a person can ever do, and it helps you bring out those feelings you thought you may never feel until you’re happy again one day.

Yes, we do have a lot of time but, do we really want to waste it on sitting around and waiting for time to heal us? No. Taking action, and making changes as soon as you start to have any negative feelings is the way to go.

Not everyone is perfect. Nobody asked you to be. Therefore you don’t need to be perfect. It’s okay to not be okay, as well as it’s okay to feel a little lost sometimes, I know I still do at times.

Think positive, and be positive. Don’t give into those negative feelings, because they won’t do you any good at all. We don’t have a limited amount of time to heal. But let’s not use our whole time waiting around.

Be patient with yourself. Never give up on yourself. I promise you that you won’t always feel the way you currently do, it’s only a temporary thing.

Trust the process. It’ll all be worth it in the end, trust me, you’ll be a brighter person, and you’ll look back at these issues only as stepping stones to making you a greater person.

And always remember, self love is the best love you can ever give yourself.

~Marisa

Healing

The word healing has different forms. It can be healing from a physical wound, or healing yourself. I’ve done both, but more healing myself than a wound I got.

Isn’t it crazy how someone can change you in such a positive way? But if they suddenly leave, you’re just stuck with picking yourself back up. Everyone heals differently, and at different speeds. Personally when I realized I didn’t have that person to talk to anymore that really scared me and I got that lonely feeling which also gave me horrible anxiety for the longest time. But I knew I could pick myself back up, make myself a stronger person mentally and psychically.

Hang out with family and friends more. Talk about how you’re feeling with anyone you trust, never bottle it up. Make sure you still try to eat 3 meals a day, get at least 8 hours of sleep every night, and try to get a little exercise in. Never keep yourself cooped up inside the house all day, as much as that may seem to be the best thing to do it really isn’t, trust me I know the pain.

You have to rediscover your love for your everyday life. You got so used to having someone by your side that had promised to always be there to show you how beautiful life can be when you two are together. Just because you may not have that person by your side doesn’t mean life isn’t beautiful anymore. If anything it just shows you how much life has to offer you everyday, and once again you’ll find the beauty in everyday life.

Yes, it’s going to hurt and you’ll start thinking about where it all went wrong. Yes, you’ll start to blame yourself, and think what if’s. But, in reality you did everything you could and it had nothing at all to do with you. Focus on your self love. It’s what makes a person shine so brightly. Everyone deserves to have self love within them.

At the end of this healing journey, you’ll look back at the struggles you once faced thinking it was your nightmare, and they will become your stepping stones to a path that’s something grater for you. Take that path and never look back at the past,

You’re not your past self anymore, you’re a new person that has new love for yourself. Pain doesn’t last forever, neither do we, so take care of yourselves and your bodies.

As my boyfriend would tell me. “If you’re breathing and alive, you are WINNING.”

So let’s all win together.

Stress Free

Lately I’ve been focusing on myself more than I ever have before, and by doing that I had to make some small changes in my daily life.

Firstly I increased my water intake, I used to not drink a lot of water and on two different occasions I’ve been to the doctor and they had to put an IV in me so they can re hydrate me. I wasn’t much of a soda drinker, but I’m a huge coffee drinker and I had to cut back on that because I noticed coffee would make my anxiety rise. Now, I drink about 5-6 bottles of water throughout the day, and I’m always refilling my cup with water at work during my shifts. Along with controlling my portions sizes when it comes to eating, and in taking more fruits when I need something to satisfy my sweet tooth.

Secondly I take my daily vitamins every morning, when I got blood work done last year my doctor told me the iron in my body was very low. So, I wanted to make sure I got the vitamins I needed, and I know I’m not old but I’m also not as young as I used to be therefore vitamins is a must for me now. I went onto care/of.com, they have you take a quiz about your body, and what you’re looking for in terms of what you need for your body so in my case that was for sure iron. They send you a monthly supply of the vitamins, and there’s no shipping fee.

Lastly, working out a little more. I’m not trying to be all muscular but currently I’m at the heaviest weight I have ever been in my life, and now I’m starting to get back to the weight I was once before.

While going through all this I’ve noticed I sleep better at night, and my anxiety doesn’t exist anymore. A lot of my stress has been lifted from me and now I feel like I’m living a stress free life now. Take care of your body, because you only get one body.

~Marisa Rae

Deep Affection

Meeting people is something everyone does. But, coming across that person that is just different from anyone else that you have ever met, not everyone can do that.

Anyone can make you feel emotions but it takes one special person to really bring more out from you than just those feelings alone. They bring out the real you at the same time, no one should ever feel like they have to hide how they really are around their significant other. Be around the one that makes you forget the suffering you’ve been through, the one who brings sunshine on your most cloudy days.

People like that don’t come around everyday, and if you’re able to find that person early on in life, you’re very lucky because for some they may have to wait years until they finally meet that person.

If they make you feel some sort of way that you’ve never felt before, that’s Deep Affection. A strong, beautiful feeling but also can be terrifying. Feelings can get stronger as time goes on, and it becomes so strong you don’t know exactly how to handle it. You’re not the only one who would feel how strong they are because I’m sure the other person will feel the same way as you do. Together the two of you can carry the weight of those feelings. Attachment can happen, but don’t fret away from it. Let what you feel take over because it won’t do you any wrong, only good will come out of it.

Follow what your heart and mind tell you to do. Nobody else has the right on how you should live your life, that’s something only you can do for yourself.

Look back at the memories you’ve with this special someone, don’t you want to make even more memories with them?

~Marisa Rae

Feeling Broken

We have times in our lives where everything seems to be going downhill for us, and none of it was how we expected things to go. As much as we all wish for everything we do in life to be right or to never make mistakes, as humans that’s just how life is. Making mistakes, and learning from them.

Have you ever gone through an experience that just made you feel like absolute trash? I know I have, and more times than I would like to admit to myself. For me I wasn’t able to accept the healing process from those experiences for the longest time, and as time went on I felt myself start to feel less happy as the days went by. Healing takes time. Pain is only temporary. Then why does my pain not feel temporary? Why is my own healing not happening yet? I always asked myself those questions at the point where I was just tired of feeling the way I did.

One day I woke up to realize I wasn’t depressed, I just felt broken. But was it a bad thing? No.

Our minds work differently just as our bodies do, everyday we all feel different emotions, deal with different situations than someone right next to us. People around us right now could be dealing with something, and we wouldn’t know because we aren’t them. I believe going through such hard times doesn’t make a person weak, it motivates them to better themselves and not let this pain affect them. If you’re currently dealing with anything at all right now as you’re reading this, just remember we’ve all been through it, maybe not at the same time as you, but we have at one point in our lives. Don’t let that pain make you feel any less than what you are, that was my first mistake when I felt that for the first time, I let that pain bring me down instead of learning from it.

So do me a favor, talk to people you love about your pain, and tell them why you feel that way. You may not want to tell anyone how you’re feeling but don’t worry, no one will judge you, and no matter what they will always be by your side. Send a text to a loved one, and just let them know how much you love them, I know that will brighten up their day. Even if someone may seem fine, ask them if they’re okay. We have to start letting those around us be well aware they can come to us for anything at all. Family, and friends are what guide you to the path of healing. Don’t be afraid to lean on them for comfort.

Each step we take in life, is a step to a better future. We can all make it to that future, but please don’t give up on your dreams. Follow them through, I know life isn’t easy one bit but as long as you can find the will to believe in yourselves good things are bound to happen.

Feeling broken doesn’t mean you’ll never be happy again, you’re only growing tougher skin for the next challenge life throws in our path.

~Marisa Rae

Emotions

It’s interesting how our emotions have such a tremendous part in our everyday lives. How they change so fast, or how they grow more in depth. One day you can love someone, and once something happens, that love you once felt melts into anger, sadness, or even hatred.

There are times I find myself just trying to control these emotions, because I admit I can’t always control them, and I know there are many others out there like me who struggle with this. When emotions get to a certain point, they scatter everywhere, making your mind feel fuzzy, confusing you, and even gives you a little anxiety because you don’t know why it hot you so suddenly.

I’ve had moments where I can be either working, or in class, and my mind blanks out on me. Or I could be hanging out with friends, laughing with them, then the next moment I just want to be locked up in my bedroom to be alone. People have made fun of me for this stuff, but then later on have told me they are the exact same way, they just don’t like to talk about it or making fun of it like they did to me was there way of not thinking about it.

Someone can tell you to ignore it, or don’t pay attention to it. But, it’s your own emotions, it’s a part of you, ignoring them will only make you turn your back on bettering yourself. Nothing in life will ever be easy, but that’s not an excuse to not try.

Learn your emotions, embrace how they work, and adjust to them. Learn to control them even in the slightest bit.

~Marisa Rae

High School

When I was in middle school I was so excited to head into high school finally, because it meant I would be closer to graduating and go into the real world. Everyone in my family always told me to enjoy every memory I make in high school.

But my first two years of high school were a nightmare for me, I got made fun of a lot, I just didn’t fit in with the team I was in, and so I decided to leave it by the time it was my third year in high school. No, I wasn’t running away from my problems, I was just getting rid of them, and honestly leaving that team of mine and joining a whole new school activity was the best choice I ever made during my time in high school.

Unfortunately for me I never enjoyed high school from day one exactly, but I eventually did start to enjoy it. I was still growing up, and although there was a lot of issues my first two years at that school I knew I would eventually enjoy some part of school. It’s going on 3 years since I graduated, and what my family told me back then still stays in my mind because I do catch myself having that nostalgic feeling when I have some time to relax.

There are parts in my memory where I think of what I could’ve done in the moment to make the situation better for me. But that’s life, now I’ve learned from those incidents, and now being a young adult I’m taking those lessons with me. If you can get through your teenage years, remember all the lessons you learned during those years, and bringing them with you into your 20’s it is a huge guidance tool that I believe everyone should use.

Because honestly as much as we wish to be grown up already, being an adult can be scary. Enjoy being a kid or teen while it lasts for you, and make as many memories as possible.

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