I’ve taken time to myself for awhile now to reflect on who I am as a person, and what I can improve on to better myself not for anyone but for myself. I am a good person but I know I can be an even greater one.

I look forward to the journey ahead, not so much the challenges I may face but one thing I’ve learned is to do what makes me happy no mater what. My favorite thing to do lately is to look up quotes, different variety of quotes on top of that, and the one that has stuck with me is in Japanese saying “Fall down seven times, stand up eight.” Couldn’t find the person who said that quote, but I’m thinking of getting that tattooed on my body somewhere because it feels like that quote and my life connect with each other.

There are so many life lessons to learn, and I hope to learn all of them or at least some that I can pass the knowledge down. Knowledge is key. The right guidance will help you find that key. With that key may you open a door to a life of pure happiness.

The last week has been giving me nothing but strength. I never thought I would be feeling the way I do now anytime soon compared to how empty I felt almost a month ago.

My dark stages are now over, and so I can officially put a smile on my face, maybe not as big as it may been at one time but I know it’ll get back to that eventually. I have long ways to go still, but progress is progress.

Remember to never wish any harm on the person that has hurt you. They were once your everything, someone who you kept close to your heart, and although they may not be in your life anymore no matter how much they’ve made you cry don’t wish harm on them. Instead show them how strong you’ve become since y’all decided to go down separate paths.

As humans we go through many battles. So smile even if you don’t want to, positive vibes throughout your day is always better than having any negative. 

Isn’t it a strange thing to get your mind to understand when someone you thought you knew could show such an ugly side to them. What’s stranger is that part of you will always miss that person no matter what they may do, or how they act. I know he’s not considering my feelings anymore, because he got what he wanted, and I’m still trying to wrap my head around all this.

With recent events I can’t believe how ugly someone you loved so much can turn so bitter the moment you mean nothing to them anymore. It’s sad that my heart still aches because of him, maybe not as long as it did a week ago but I still wish to not feel the way I do ever again yet my mind keeps doing this to me.

Looking back at my first post on here ever I can feel that sadness through my writing, and with my current self I can see the improvements I’ve made the past 2 weeks. Like I’ve always said, it’s okay to not be okay.

Recently I had talked to the person who is still important to me even  though I may not be important to them anymore. I know I won’t get that side of him anymore that was super sweet, and so warm towards me. It’s honestly super weird to me for us to talk as if we never knew each other, like if we hadn’t spend all that time with him, yes I did disappear on him because I knew it would be better for me to accept what he wants so that I wouldn’t continue to have this hope we would get back together.

I know I lost an incredible guy. I truly know I did, and I’m still accepting that. My mind still doesn’t want to believe that this is the reality I have to live with for now on. He said it wasn’t my fault at all, we weren’t working anymore, but although he told me that I still feel like it’s partly my fault as it is his as well.

Of course I’ll miss him, and the memories we’ve made together but like I’ve said before now they’re just events that happened in the past that I won’t experience again with him. I do have my moments throughout the day, not so much as night which is surprising. I don’t know why it’s hitting me more today than it has any other day, maybe talking to him yesterday is what stirred up my emotions like this.

With time I know I’ll be stronger, and who knows maybe I won’t think of him as much or not at all anymore as time goes on. As long as I continue to have the support from my friends and family that I currently have I know I can do this.

Life is interesting. You never know what to expect from it nor do you know what could just get thrown at you. I thought I knew what life was all about, and what it could give me but that wasn’t the case at all for me unfortunately but I know that’s not the case for majority of people anyways.

It’s funny how our minds work, makes us get used to a life style, and once part of that life style is gone we find ourselves trying to figure out our minds once again so we can know what to do next. But when our minds don’t have the answer, we tend to try and figure it out. Some people even tend to get lost, and that is why for myself I try to keep my path lighten up. It’s never easy finding the path because sometimes it may not be the right one to go down.

Life is life. No matter what we may or may not want to happen, as humans we just have to adapt to the changes or challenges life may give us. Just always remember life doesn’t do things to you just to leave you wondering why this happened, it makes you grow as an individual that way when you’re ready to face the world again you’ll be a stronger person than you were ever before.

Never. Let. Someone. Make. You. Lose. Faith. In. Yourself.

Healing will never be easy, neither will accepting.

But the least you can do sometimes is start to give your mind some peace. and the best way to start is by thanking the person who you may not be with anymore.

Thank them for being by your side when you needed them, the memories you made with them, and especially thank them for loving you. Feelings won’t go away so soon, and the memories will always be a part of you. The good times will only be just past memories but they become a part of you at the same time.

They may not be your significant other anymore, but I’m sure they’ll always be thankful for everything you did for them and for the time you spent with them.

Talking to them will one day get easier for you, so will going on with life without them, and then you’ll wake up feeling fully at peace with everything.